Gentleman Junkie and Other Stories of the Hung-Up Generation Read online

  I cannot supply you with a photograph of Philip Grademan, but your sources of supply must be better than mine. All I can tell you is that he is tall, dark-haired, and slightly balding at the temples. He has a small, pear-shaped birthmark on his left hand, above the knuckles. He has nice, even features, but I always thought his mouth was rather cruel. His one interest that I know about is his love of books; this might provide a clue for you, as to his whereabouts. I know that he is no longer in Taunton, because some friends of mine there informed me that he left town the week after I came to Stimson.

  Please tell me if there is any other information you require and, most importantly, whether you can do more than just find this man.

  Yours very truly,

  (Miss) Loretta Parish

  May 13th, 1975

  Miss Loretta Parish

  RFD #2

  Stimson, Ohio

  Dear Miss Parish:

  Just this note to let you know we are looking into your problem, with an eye to definitely clearing this matter up to your satisfaction. Enclosed is a standard table of payment for our services.

  However, while my sources are checking back—we have accepted your kind suggestion to check the coroner’s inquest transcript in Taunton—I should like to make certain precisely what services you will require of us.

  My associates and myself, having reviewed your letters, are puzzled by your references to whether “…we can do more than just find this man.”

  We wish to establish that we are a reputable firm of some years standing. However, for special clients—such as we now feel inclined to consider you, in the light of your special difficulties—we have a number of special services.

  If you would care to be more specific in this one particular, I am certain we can arrive at a mutual understanding.

  A further statement of our progress will be sent you as soon as our sources have reported.

  Checks may be made payable to the undersigned.

  Most respectfully,

  Harrison Talmadge,

  for Talmadge Services, Inc.

  HT: lt

  enc: Rate Table

  16 May 1975

  Talmadge Services, Inc.

  545 Fifth Avenue

  New York 17, New York

  Dear Mr. Talmadge:

  I’m sorry not to have replied to your letter immediately, but I have not been well.

  I appreciate your desire to have me make a specific request concerning Philip Grademan, but this is a delicate matter, as I’m certain you understand.

  I can only repeat that unless this man is permanently prevented from bothering me, and accusing me of crimes, and actually threatening my life, that I can never look forward to a peaceful existence.

  I’m afraid that this is the most I can say, and if it is not sufficiently clear, perhaps we had better conclude the entire transaction.

  Yours very truly,

  (Miss) Loretta Parish

  May 18th, 1975

  Miss Loretta Parish

  RFD #2

  Stimson, Ohio

  Dear Miss Parish:

  Please do not misconstrue, or take offense at my request for clarification. You must be aware, I am certain, of the delicacy of the nature of our business.

  I feel impelled to reassure you that anything written or conveyed to us, in any form, will remain exclusively confidential, and at the termination of our business, all your correspondence will be returned. You can be assured our own reports remain in secret file, where no one will ever gain access to them.

  The attitude of Talmadge Services, Inc. has always been: “The client’s confidence is sacred. We must assume the role of doctor or counselor. The confidence must never be violated.” We at the Agency hope you, too, will feel this way about us.

  I believe we understand each other perfectly now, Miss Parish.

  To be sure, we will handle this problem to its logical end, and publicity of any sort would be as damaging to us as to you. Discretion is all-important, to both of us.

  In any event…the extra days during your indisposition have allowed us to procure the transcript of the inquest, and the preliminary reports of our field man. We are now preparing the latter for your consideration.

  I wish to remind you that no check has been forthcoming, and while we wish to satisfy our clients, our field work is quite expensive. I’m sure this reminder will suffice.

  Hoping you feel better-disposed, I remain most respectfully yours,

  Harrison Talmadge,

  for Talmadge Services, Inc.

  HT: lt

  May 22nd, 1975

  Miss Loretta Parish

  RFD #2

  Stimson, Ohio

  Dear Miss Parish:

  I wish to thank you for your check, which more than covers our preliminary work. I am certain you will find our work as thorough as you might have wished.

  Our primary report is enclosed. However, a brief summary reveals the following: there was some question, at the inquest and subsequently (which you could not have realized, having moved from Taunton so soon after Mrs. Constable’s unfortunate death) as to the circumstances surrounding her death. Now we certainly do not wish to pry, and have no desire to tread where it is not our province, but to more clearly establish for our own purposes just what action Mr. Philip Grademan might take, we must know all particulars.

  It is not our belief that you are withholding any details of this matter, but perhaps you might recall a few things both about the situation in Taunton, and about Grademan in particular, that might abet us.

  We are happy to have you with us as a client, and wish to once again reassure you that at the conclusion of our transactions, your problem will be permanently solved.

  While we await any further data from you, we will proceed with the tracing of Mr. Philip Grademan.

  Once again, yours most respectfully,

  Harrison Talmadge,

  for Talmadge Services, Inc.

  HT: lt

  enc: Primary Field Report-6pp.

  24 May 1975

  Talmadge Services, Inc.

  545 Fifth Avenue

  New York 17, New York

  Dear Mr. Talmadge:

  I really must protest the insinuation in your letter that the facts I reported concerning the Taunton situation were not complete.

  First of all, it was only logical for Mrs. Constable to make me her heir, since I was employed a full year prior to Philip Grademan. I was more than just a secretary to her, I was a friend, while Grademan only tended to her books. She knew he was more interested in the library than herself, and so naturally her sentiments lay with me. Also, Mrs. Constable recognized that I, being a woman, and in ill health, did not have the means, available to Philip Grademan, for self-support.

  I suppose that what you’ve run across is the nasty gossip circulating in Taunton concerning the fact that I prepared Mrs. Constable’s diet for her—she was on a low-salt, low-residue diet, and supervision was necessary—which has led several local busybodies to imply that her death was perhaps not merely a matter of ill health.

  Also, you may have heard that the relationship between Philip Grademan and myself was more than mere friendship. I can assure you that I loathe and despise Philip Grademan, and I would not be made unhappy by the realization that I might never see him again.

  I suspect that this man is mentally unbalanced, because of his conviction that Mrs. Constable’s money should have been willed to him. A man like that is capable of the most drastic crime, and I urge you to take appropriate action at the earliest possible opportunity. If further remuneration is required, I am willing to meet any reasonable request.

  Yours very truly,

  (Miss) Loretta Parish

  May 30th, 1975

  Miss Loretta Parish

  RFD #2

  Stimson, Ohio

  Dear Miss Parish:

  Good news! We believe we have picked up Philip Grademan’s trail. Our man in the field has had reasonably little diff
iculty tracing Grademan. He has made a habit of stopping in every antique bookshop within the area he happens to be, and this pattern of behavior will simplify our task immeasurably. His actions lead us to believe he is not too concerned about anyone knowing his whereabouts. This is a result of a lucky coincidence that occurred two days ago.

  There is a certain amount of cross-reference between all tracing agencies, which facilitates location, and we had a note from the Superior Detective Agency of this city, mentioning that a Mr. Paul Gestler was trying to locate Miss Elizabeth Fernig, late of Taunton, Massachusetts.

  The similarity of initials cannot be mere coincidence, leading us to believe that Grademan is, indeed, trying to locate you as you suspected.

  Needless to say, we did not reply to this note, and we are hastening our efforts. This has met with some difficulty, for Grademan (if Gestler is Grademan, and we believe he is) mails his checks to the Superior people from a professional mailing service, to which the Superior Agency sends its reports, and this firm will not, under any circumstances we have been able to devise, inform us where his letters originate. However, we believe his movements are at random, following any leads the Superior Agency might unearth, and hoping to stumble on you both through their activities and his own.

  At any rate, our man in the field will continue to track Grademan, and any further developments will be related immediately to you. He left Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, a mere week before our man reached there.

  Be assured that we are sparing no effort in this matter, and your more than generous remittance will afford us a great deal of leeway in hiring the best possible men for the job. And when we have located Grademan, your situation will clear up very nicely.

  In passing, I thought I might clarify a point made in my letter of May 22nd. The rumors circulated in Taunton about you were not precisely as you imagined. The rumors said that you had induced Philip Grademan into a plot to kill Mrs. Constable, giving him the impression that Mrs. Constable’s will favored you both equally. This is supposed to account for Grademan’s anger, when he discovered that you were the sole heir, and he merely your beneficiary.

  While these rumors have reached us, both as hearsay and as the by-products of our field man’s reports, we wish to assure you that none of this is our concern, and it remains a confidential section of this investigation.

  We are certain, of course, that all such rumors are just that: rumors. We are with you, here at the agency, in spirit as well as action.

  Hoping you are feeling well these days, I remain most respectfully,

  Harrison Talmadge,

  for Talmadge Services, Inc.

  HT: lt

  enc: Secondary Field Report-12pp.

  1 June 1975

  Talmadge—

  For God’s sake, if Philip Grademan has detectives looking for me, then I’m in terrible danger. You must do something right away!

  Loretta Parish

  June 3rd, 1975

  Miss Loretta Parish

  RFD #2

  Stimson, Ohio

  Dear Miss Parish:

  Please calm yourself. Our men are working on this matter full-time since your checks have allowed us to more than double our activities.

  Grademan was seen in a bookstore in Canton, Ohio, not more than five days ago, and we have every reason to expect that he has received some definite information from the Superior Agency. We are trying to get some inside information there ourselves, as to just what progress they have made in finding you. We will, of course, do everything in our power to forestall their activities.

  A further report is enclosed, and I can only re-state my assurances that you have nothing to worry about. With our men on his track, he can’t go far without our finding him. We are trying every bookstore in every city within a hundred miles of where he was seen, on the chance that his bibliomania will make him turn up there. And when he is located, the total discrimination of this Agency will be employed in quietly eliminating his danger to you.

  Please be calm, and be assured we are with you all the way.

  Yours most respectfully,

  Harrison Talmadge,

  for Talmadge Services, Inc.

  HT: lt

  enc: 3rd Field Report-8pp.

  4 June 1975

  Talmadge,

  I repeat…I’m in terrible danger! You must find Grademan at once. Before he finds me. Spare no expense but hurry—Please advise at once!

  Loretta Parish

  June 6th, 1975

  Miss Loretta Parish

  RFD #2

  Stimson, Ohio

  Dear Miss Parish:

  I feel you are becoming unduly emotional about a situation that will soon be cleared up nicely. In that respect I have good news for you again.

  Grademan was traced as far as Columbus, Ohio, which seems to be narrowing his track of approach. We are confident he will be turned up shortly. Then our special service will return the value you have paid out. We have hired a man for this single service alone. However, the cost of this expert was slightly higher than anticipated. You will find a bill enclosed to cover this factor. I trust that it will be satisfactory to you.

  We hasten to remind you that all transactions are strictly private.

  Certain you’ll understand, I remain most respectfully.

  Harrison Talmadge,

  for Talmadge Services, Inc.

  HT: lt

  enc: 4th Field Report-16pp.

  Bill for Services

  June 9th, 1975

  Dear Miss Parish:

  On the 7th he was in Dayton. On the 8th (yesterday) he was in Springfield. His searching is bringing him closer to you and, accordingly, our men closer to him. Our operations are swinging into high gear.

  Hurriedly,

  H. Talmadge

  NJ133 PD-NY NY 10 530PME

  MISS LORETTA PARISH-

  RFD #2 STIMSON OHIO

  1975 JUNE 10 AM 7 09

  HAVE LOST TRAIL, BE ADVISED OUR FRIEND HEADING YOUR VICINITY. LETTER FOLLOWS.

  TALMADGE

  June 10th, 1975; 6:00 PM

  Miss Loretta Parish

  RFD #2

  Stimson, Ohio

  Dear Miss Parish:

  Having received my telegram I hope you took immediate steps to protect yourself. Our man lost Grademan’s track when he disappeared in Springfield, Ohio. We feel certain now that Grademan has received definite information as to your present whereabouts.

  We believe the most prudent thing to do now is to advise us immediately, and we will provide another of our services, which is protection, in the form of an agent.

  In point of fact, our Mr. Schneider, who has been closest to Grademan through this entire affair, is now in your vicinity, and if you will advise by return mail or telegram, we will have him proceed immediately to you, to act as your guard. I might also note the bill for the hiring of our “special” agent has not yet been paid.

  Respectfully yours,

  Harrison Talmadge,

  for Talmadge Services, Inc.

  HT: lt

  enc: Protection Rate Table

  Bill for Services

  COLONIAL BOOK SHOP

  16 Cherry Street

  Stimson, Ohio

  August 2, 1975

  Talmadge Services, Inc.

  545 Fifth Avenue

  New York 17, N.Y.

  Gentlemen:

  I am sure you will be saddened to learn of the passing of Loretta Parish, neé Elizabeth Fernig, who succumbed to an ailing heart last June.

  As the beneficiary of Miss Parish’s will, I have recently discovered, among her effects, several statements for services rendered by your organization.

  Please find check enclosed. I’m sure you will be as happy as I to mark “finis” to these outstanding charges.

  Yours most respectfully,

  Philip Grademan, Prop.

  “BOOKS ARE FRIENDS”

  No Fourth Commandment

  “I’m going to kill my fath
er,” said the boy.

  “If I ever find him, I won’t bother to tell him who I am, or say hello, or anything. I’ll just walk up and kill him.” He was a tall, thin kid, with a hungry look in his green eyes.

  “But why?” I asked. “Why do you want to kill your father?”

  “You should see my mother. She looks like she’s fifty.”

  I still didn’t understand. “So?”

  “She’s only thirty-six.”

  He didn’t say anything more, and I didn’t think I should bug him, so I went back to picking the strawberries. I’ve been out on the road enough years to know when to leave a body alone when he don’t want to talk. But this kid was different. I was kind of drawn to him—I don’t know why—maybe ’cause I never had no wife and kids his age.

  It was one of those real warm, pleasantish days when you know there ain’t no place better to be than on a farm.

  Even so, I felt a chill. The sun was beating down on me, naked to the waist in the middle of a strawberry crop, I was sweating like a pig, and I was chilly.

  The chill started in my chest—way inside—and worked out. It was that kind of chill. It was that kid, that’s what it was.

  The way he’d said it. That he was going to kill his old man. It made me wiggle. I’ve heard lotta men say they was gonna kill someone else, but it was the first time I’d heard anything like that!

  I’d never thought too much about the Fourth Commandment. Honor thy father and mother just hadn’t applied to me—my folks got killed when I was a kid. But I knew what it meant, and it was one of those things that seemed natural, and there wasn’t no reason to dispute it. But when I heard that kid say it, I felt all funny. He shouldn’t of said something like that, it wasn’t right.

  I looked over at him.

  He was down on his hands and knees, working the next row, with his berry bag over his shoulder and his hair tumbled into his eyes. He looked to be about fifteen, sixteen, with a long, loose body that was decently muscled, but pretty thin. He looked like he was always set to run. Like a racehorse chomping at the bit. He never did run, he just looked like he wanted to.

  Nobody knew where he’d come from, and mostly, nobody asked. Almost all the boys in the fields were roadwalkers and runaways and, of course, a lot of field-followers trailing the crops, so it was smartest just to keep to yourself and not inquire.